Rushing to try to get a reply to you before you leave - picked up your
draft just as I was leaving work and threw it on to the printer, so have
been reading through it at home. I don't have access here to earlier
drafts, and apologise if any of this is stuff I should have picked up
last time round.
Looks basically ok at this point, just a couple of comments (and
suggestions for alternatives).
"The SACO Program has so far avoided the formalities..."
Don't like "avoided" - so would suggest something like
"The SACO Program has so far operated without the formalities"
in the hope that this might seem less judgmental.
If you get a chance to revisit the last para of that introductory
section perhaps there's a simpler way of structuring the syntax in order
to make it read more fluently. But there's nothing wrong with the
In Responsibilities of Membership - 3rd para. It took me a couple of
readings to grasp the connection between the proposed minimum annual
contribution and the "faster turnaround time". Although I think the
point is correctly made, I wonder whether the sentence starting "A
combination..." really adds anything to the argument. See how you think
it reads with the sentence simply dropped.
Coming from one of those parts of the world where LCCS is rarely
enountered, I think your statement that it forms, with LCSH, the "most
important subject analysis tools ever created" might be a trifle
hyperbolic. Dewey users might have something to say about that (we don't
use either in Cambridge, so I've no axe to grind on this). Maybe
substitute "amongst" for "together"? But again, your draft isn't in any
prejudicial to the basic point you're making in that para, so it's not
serious to me if you happen to disagree and stick with what's written.
OK, that's all I've annotated. There's nothing I can see that's in
conflict with the International Participation report. Conversely,
nothing they've raised in our area that we've not mentioned, so that's
Hope you have a restful weekend and recover quickly.
Regards to all.
Head, Collection Development and Description
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