LISTSERV mailing list manager LISTSERV 16.0

Help for SF-LIT Archives


SF-LIT Archives

SF-LIT Archives


[email protected]


View:

Message:

[

First

|

Previous

|

Next

|

Last

]

By Topic:

[

First

|

Previous

|

Next

|

Last

]

By Author:

[

First

|

Previous

|

Next

|

Last

]

Font:

Proportional Font

LISTSERV Archives

LISTSERV Archives

SF-LIT Home

SF-LIT Home

SF-LIT  March 2000

SF-LIT March 2000

Subject:

Mission:Impossible!

From:

Helge Moulding <[log in to unmask]>

Reply-To:

[log in to unmask]

Date:

Tue, 21 Mar 2000 15:37:56 -0800

Content-Type:

text/plain

Parts/Attachments:

Parts/Attachments

text/plain (132 lines)

This is my review of "Mission to Mars". If you still want to
see it, skip my review. Fair warning.

*
 *
  *
   *
    *
     *
      *
       *
        *
         *
          *
           *
            *
             *
***************

"If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."

Good advice, except sometimes I'm left bursting with a rant.
So I'll do what I can with saying something nice - first.

Damn. It's hard.

Some of the actors had their good moments. Cheadle, when talking
to Sinise about the upcoming mission. Nielsen, when free-fall
dancing with Robbins.

Visually, the movie was fairly appealing, giving shots of
Mars features the way Sagan would have loved to have done them
20 years ago.

But what a waste of effort!

Not that the movie didn't start out nicely. We get to meet good
guy Luke and good guy Jim, and we find out what great buddies
all these astronauts are, and that the guys all have sexy wives,
except Jim, which is properly tragic. But instead of going
somewhere with all that, the story deteriorates rapidly into
pointless special effects and contrived plot and, to quote one
reviewer whose advice I should have heeded, cheese.

I'd loved to have seen the accident on Mars 2 be dealt with by
their competent crew back Earthside: maybe something like
Apollo 13, where we all knew how the story was going to end,
but were still sitting on the edge of our seats. Instead we're
treated to a series of predictable plot twists that would more
properly be found in one of the "Airport" movies.

It would have been nice if the mystery on Mars were something
interesting. Instead one of those damned space aliens pops up
and ruins the whole story. If I never see a group of supposedly
intelligent humans gazing worshipfully at an elfin space alien
again in my life, it will be too soon! (Someone shut off the
music!) This thing is evil! Its stupid burglar alarm killed
three crew members! What's wrong with you all?

The problem is, of course, that for many people space aliens
have supplanted our conventional deities. They're either very
very good, and can get away with anything they like, or they're
very very evil, and nothing they do is right. Few intelligent
treatments of non-human intelligent beings like "Enemy Mine"
exist, and apparently "Mission to Mars" wasn't going to be one,
either.

Finally, "Mission to Mars" had the opportunity to use our
fin-de-siecle movie technology to present viewers with a
realistic picture of what such missions to Mars will actually
be like. But nope! The shots of the centrifuge have astronauts
scurrying up and down the ladders with no sign of Coriolis'
gentle push. Jim McConnell runs around for minutes without his
helmet on, when he should be more intimately acquainted with
emergency procedures than any of the rest. They shut down the
centrifuge without going through a lock-down. Computer consoles
announce in cheerful color and complex graphics that the
computers have crashed. Systems that can show pretty pictures
of fuel running to the engines can't detect a loss of pressure.
What the heck was with that explosion?

Aside from the problem that jumping out of a spacecraft that
missed orbital insertion isn't going to stop the intrepid
astronauts from missing orbit, too, I'd have hoped that they
could at least have demonstrated how orbital mechanics work.
But no, complete systems failure there, too. The astronauts
go *faster* to catch a spaceship that orbits *lower*. Even
after Blake tumbles into space he somehow manages to stop
tumbling and maintain attitude, even though his space suit
is out of fuel. Good trick!

Mars gravity is 1/3 Earths, but nothing in the movie even
hints at this. Even the makeshift sled they drag to the base
camp seems to be pulled down by Earth gravity. The battle in
the greenhouse shows none of the loss of coordination in
McConnell that would afflict someone who just arrived on Mars.
And if the computers were wiped out by the EMP, what the heck
is Luke running with that breadboard assembly?

The remaining gaffs of the movie pale besides these problems.
But I wouldn't want to stop here and fail to point out that
alien DNA used to jump start life on Earth has no more chance
of being recognized as "human" than would cockroach DNA, nor
breaths there a biologist who can recognize human DNA from a
computerized animation of the double helix. The "movie" of
evolution was a travesty. The aliens should have just moved
to the Earth instead of flying off to another galaxy, and
galaxies are terribly far away compared to the stars in our
own galaxy, and the stoopid aliens didn't even give McConnell
so much as a steering wheel! And if they're so dang concerned
about acceleration that they drown McConnell in breathable
fluid, then what's with the spinning during takeoff? And why
is it necessary to destroy the "face on Mars"?

What's particularly galling to me is that the two SF movies in
recent memory that I actually enjoyed, "Mystery Men" and
"Galaxy Quest", weren't even supposed to be taken seriously.
Therein, I think, lies an explanation of why SF is still, by
and large, best done with the printed word.
---
Helge Moulding
mailto:[log in to unmask]                Just another guy
http://hmoulding.cjb.net/                  with a weird name





_______________________________________________________
Get 100% FREE Internet Access powered by Excite
Visit http://freelane.excite.com/freeisp

Top of Message | Previous Page | Permalink

Advanced Options


Options

Log In

Log In

Get Password

Get Password


Search Archives

Search Archives


Subscribe or Unsubscribe

Subscribe or Unsubscribe


Archives

November 2018
October 2018
September 2018
August 2018
July 2018
June 2018
May 2018
April 2018
March 2018
February 2018
January 2018
December 2017
November 2017
October 2017
September 2017
August 2017
July 2017
June 2017
May 2017
April 2017
March 2017
February 2017
January 2017
December 2016
November 2016
October 2016
September 2016
August 2016
July 2016
June 2016
May 2016
April 2016
March 2016
February 2016
January 2016
December 2015
November 2015
October 2015
September 2015
August 2015
July 2015
June 2015
May 2015
April 2015
March 2015
February 2015
January 2015
December 2014
November 2014
October 2014
September 2014
August 2014
July 2014
June 2014
May 2014
April 2014
March 2014
February 2014
January 2014
December 2013
November 2013
October 2013
September 2013
August 2013
July 2013
June 2013
May 2013
April 2013
March 2013
February 2013
January 2013
December 2012
November 2012
October 2012
September 2012
August 2012
July 2012
June 2012
May 2012
April 2012
March 2012
February 2012
January 2012
December 2011
November 2011
October 2011
September 2011
August 2011
July 2011
June 2011
May 2011
April 2011
March 2011
January 2011
December 2010
November 2010
October 2010
September 2010
August 2010
July 2010
June 2010
May 2010
April 2010
March 2010
February 2010
January 2010
December 2009
November 2009
October 2009
September 2009
August 2009
July 2009
June 2009
May 2009
April 2009
March 2009
February 2009
January 2009
December 2008
November 2008
October 2008
September 2008
August 2008
July 2008
June 2008
May 2008
April 2008
March 2008
February 2008
January 2008
December 2007
November 2007
October 2007
September 2007
August 2007
July 2007
June 2007
May 2007
April 2007
March 2007
February 2007
January 2007
December 2006
November 2006
October 2006
September 2006
August 2006
July 2006
June 2006
May 2006
April 2006
March 2006
February 2006
January 2006
December 2005
November 2005
October 2005
September 2005
August 2005
July 2005
June 2005
May 2005
April 2005
March 2005
February 2005
January 2005
December 2004
November 2004
October 2004
September 2004
August 2004
July 2004
June 2004
May 2004
April 2004
March 2004
February 2004
January 2004
December 2003
November 2003
October 2003
September 2003
August 2003
July 2003
June 2003
May 2003
April 2003
March 2003
February 2003
January 2003
December 2002
November 2002
October 2002
September 2002
August 2002
July 2002
June 2002
May 2002
April 2002
March 2002
February 2002
January 2002
December 2001
November 2001
October 2001
September 2001
August 2001
July 2001
June 2001
May 2001
April 2001
March 2001
February 2001
January 2001
December 2000
November 2000
October 2000
September 2000
August 2000
July 2000
June 2000
May 2000
April 2000
March 2000
February 2000
January 2000
December 1999
November 1999
October 1999
September 1999
August 1999
July 1999
June 1999
May 1999
April 1999
March 1999
February 1999
January 1999
December 1998
November 1998
October 1998
September 1998
August 1998
July 1998
June 1998
May 1998
April 1998
March 1998
February 1998
January 1998
December 1997
November 1997
October 1997
September 1997
August 1997
July 1997
June 1997
May 1997
April 1997
March 1997
February 1997
January 1997
December 1996
November 1996
October 1996
September 1996
August 1996
July 1996
June 1996
May 1996
April 1996
March 1996
February 1996
January 1996
December 1995
November 1995
October 1995
September 1995
August 1995
July 1995
June 1995
May 1995
April 1995
March 1995
February 1995
June 1996
May 1996
April 1996
March 1996
February 1996
January 1996
December 1995
November 1995
October 1995
September 1995
August 1995
July 1995
June 1995
May 1995
April 1995
March 1995
February 1995

ATOM RSS1 RSS2



LISTSERV.LOC.GOV

CataList Email List Search Powered by the LISTSERV Email List Manager