The list discussion has been interesting, and livened up an otherwise oppressive Washington DC August.
The point of it all is though, that AACR2 22.17 assumes that twentieth century (and later) personal dates are publicly available and easily obtained for cataloging use. Likewise, the same is true for AACR2 22.18 and full forms of name. Other methods for differentiation have been tried, and we always revert to this. We should not cloud this larger issue and the fact that the vast majority of people do not object, with a view people who, for whatever reasons, do object.
We do not advocate nor require "heroic measures" in this area. Use your judgement about how and when to contact someone, if at all, and follow the results--even if it means AACR2 22.20 for creating [ "consolidated", "non-unique", "undifferentiated", etc.] name authority records. You have done what you can, and you have to move on.
A final note-- I spent several years cataloging in the area of cons, frauds, planned disappeareances, and identity theft. No one ever mentioned cataloging data as a source. They go to the same sources we use.
Anthony R.D. Franks
Team Leader, Cooperative Cataloging Team
Library of Congress