I came across the following on the Fun People Archive
(http://www.empire.net/psl-bin/Fun_People.cgi). Can't you just imagine
it?
Subject: Disney Does the Classics
Forwarded-by: Keith Bostic <[log in to unmask]>
Forwarded-by: [log in to unmask] (Rick Sayre)
Disney Classics:
The Inferno by Dante Aligheri
The poet Dante (the voice of Bruce Willis) is led by his friend Virgil
(the voice of Anthony Quinn) on a magical trip underground to the land
of
"Heck." Among the delightful creatures they visit are the lovebirds
Paolo
and Francesca (the voices of Andrew Dice Clay and Rosie O'Donnell),
the
Crying Trees (the band Nirvana), and the Five Singing Little Devils
(the
Jacksons).
Moby Dick by Herman Melville
Crusty seafarer Captain Ahab (the voice of Dom Deluise) and his lovely
mermaid friend Fishtail (speaking voice of Brett Butler, singing voice
of
Alanis Morrissette) take Ahab's young nephew Ishmael (Matthew
Broderick)
on a delightful romp at sea in search of the legendary great white
whale
Moby Dick (voice of Robin Williams). Though songs of the whale's evil
temper and destructiveness are sung by many of the friendly natives on
the islands visited by the jolly crew, Moby turns out to be a lonely,
but
lovable, giant. Ishmael learns an important lesson: Things aren't
always
as they appear!
Animal Farm by George Orwell
Pigs, chickens, horses -- all the familiar barnyard crowd -- are the
heroes of this charming celebration of teamwork and diversity. The
poor
animals, having suffered for years on a failing farm under the tyranny
of
the cruel farmer Jones (Robert Goulet), are suddenly liberated when
Jones
trips and falls down a well. Though things are chaotic at first, the
kindly young pigs Snowball (Michael J. Fox) and Napoleon (Eddie
Murphy)
help the animals all work together to turn the farm into a model of
efficiency and happiness. After the animals nurse Jones back to
health,
he changes his evil ways and promises to treat all living things as
his
equal.
Hamlet by William Shakespeare
With his father dead and his evil uncle Claudius (Sylvester Stallone)
now
ruling over the once-happy people of Denmark, all seems lost for poor
prince Hamlet (Johnny Depp). But Hamlet's father (Leslie Nielson) is
only
pretending to be dead until he can safely help place his young son on
the
throne and his evil brother in jail. Featuring an underwater ballet
with
the beautiful Ophelia (Bette Midler) and the loony antics of a
wise-guy
skull named Yorick (Rodney Dangerfield), Hamlet's best friend.
No Exit by Jean-Paul Sartre
Old friends Donald Duck, Daisy Duck, and Minnie Mouse are surprised to
find themselves sharing a room in a beautiful resort hotel. Their
every
need is catered to by a mysterious butler (Jim Carrey). Opening in
conjunction with Walt Disney World's new attraction,
Being-and-Nothingness
Land.
The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka
Young Gregor Samsa (Arnold Schwarzenegger), overwhelmed by the demands
of
his job as a clerk, wishes each night that he was a creature without
responsibility. He is amazed one morning when he awakes to find
himself
changed into a beautiful beetle, which delights his family and
terrifies
his cruel boss (Jerry Seinfeld), who is horribly afraid of insects.
Jiminy
Cricket guides young Gregor to a happy community of insects that nest
below the dull city of Prague.
Oedipus Rex by Sophocles
Thanks to the advice of a wise old owl (Sally Kellerman), a young boy
(Neil Patrick Harris) avoids many traps set by the evil fates (Candice
Bergen, Cybill Shepard, and Mary Tyler Moore) to help save Greece from
disaster. The boy, who was stolen from his family at birth, is finally
reunited with his loving mother (Barbara Streisand) and father (Bill
Cosby).
Waiting for Godot by Samuel Beckett
Vladimir and Estragon (the delightful Chip 'n' Dale) wait for Godot
(Rush
Limbaugh), who arrives with limitless presents and makes all their
dreams
come true.
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