Print

Print


----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Cary Ginell" <[log in to unmask]>
> RIAA Declares Using Brain to Remember Songs is Criminal Copyright Infringement
(satire)
> by Mike Adams
>
The Sequel
By Steven C. Barr

Meanwhile, in two important related developments...

First, in the 19th Appelate Court of the State Of Confusion, an
important legal precedent has been set. Judge Ribald. X. Hooflungdung
ruled in favor of the RIAA argument that sound recordings are intended
to be single-use items, and there thus exists a legal requirement that
any sound recording protected under the Digital Millennium Copyright
Act may be listened to only once, and solely by its original purchaser.
The court held that it was within the rights of the Recording Industry
Association of America, since that group included all significant
manufacturers of sound recordings, to establish and maintain the
circumstances under which its products could legally be used.
The Judge pointed out that, for example, when a hot-dog vendor
merchandises his product, he only intends it to be consumed a
single time, with no considerations of its re-use; likewise,
that consideration can logically be applied to other sellers
of products intended for personal use by their purchasers.

An RIAA spokesman stated that they would be financing a task
force empowered to destroy all sound recordings in the hands
of other parties than original retail dealers. He said, "We
intend to destroy all sound recordings except those on which
the original seal is unbroken, and will regard the absence of
an unbroken seal as prima facie evidence that the recording
has already received its allowed single audition." Meanwhile,
the Governor of Texas stated that violation of this decision
would carry capital punishment penalties, and urged that other
jurisdictions also follow.

In a related development, both ASCAP and BMI announced today
that the public singing, humming or whistling of any piece of
music under their jurisdiction would be subject to the payment
of applicable public-performance royalties; they also plan,
said a spokesperson, to charge those parties who have registered
songs constantly running through their minds. "After all," said
the person, "when you hear someone performing a song...even if
only mentally...that composition is entertaining either yourself,
others, or both; thus it is only fair the composer or composers
be adequately reimbursed."

...stevenc